I love you; I love you; I love you. It gets harder to say those words out loud for everyone to hear. If we love each other, why am I alone every night? If we love each other why is it hard for us to be together? When I first told you “I love you” I was terrified, I couldn’t stop myself from being so infatuated with you. I was so scared of what you might say, would you reject me like the other women I met in my life? So many scenarios are going through my head. I am doubting myself thinking, why am I putting myself out there by saying I love you first? I just couldn’t hide how much you meant to me. The moment you told me you loved me back was the happiest moment in my life. I was yours forever and you were mine only for a while. All of my heart was yours. If my love for you was the solution to life’s problems, I would win a Noble Peace Prize. All I have left is the memories we shared. The memories of how your lips tasted, of how soft your skin was, of how your voice made me feel whenever you told me you love me, of how badly I wanted to ask you to marry me. A broken heart is the worst pain I have ever felt. Because I know if I could turn back time and actually relive those moments with you, instead of the memories that’s trapped in my mind I would. And I would enjoy every minute of it like I did once before. It was hard to live my life after you, apart of me didn’t want to live at all if it wasn’twith you by my side. I finally understand why people die from a broken heart. To love someone so much and that love no longer exists. It feels like the world is ending around you and your heart is about to explode from the pain. It is so frustrating because my heart feels like it’s being violated constantly. It hurts so much more because the world keeps spinning, moving on like nothing happened and I am here hurting all alone.
9/5/22
